Taken

This is out of the blue, I know. There's nothing in the news or in my personal life about it, but I'm feeling some real concern about the exploitation of women and children right now.
Sweatshops, human trafficking (aka slavery), forced prostitution and sex trafficking - these are serious problems that exist more widely than you might think in the world today - even in the United States.
There's nothing big I can do about it right now. I don't have money, or power, or influence, or even a wide reach of people who know me. I don't have Liam Neeson's "particular set of skills."  But I have a voice, and a little blog that a few people read.
If you are one of the people who do read this, know that there are a few small things you and I can do to help. If you are interested in learning more, click here for Information on Human Trafficking or here Learn What You Can Do to Help . It's not a lot, nor is it likely that you or I will change a life. But then again, what if you are the person a victim tries to reach out to?

The Ratio

 In an atom, the number of electrons (negatively charged sub-atomic particles) is always exactly equal to the number of protons (positively charged sub-atomic particles) in order to cancel them out and create balanced polarity. In other words, on the smallest level in the universe, matter is balanced and equal. A 1:1 ratio. It's different, though, for those immaterial things. Emotions, thoughts - those have a different ratio.

5 : 1

That's what it takes. Five positive influences to cancel out one negative influence. That means every time one jealous or angry person says something, it will take five kindly people to erase the emotional damage that has been done to that person. This is, of course, assuming they say something in time, that the damage has not sunk in yet. This is also assuming that they actually GET those five positive influences. That there aren't more negative comments being made about them. Because with negativity, it's one step forward, five steps back.

Are we being the kind of people that help offset the damage? I would encourage you all (and most especially myself!) to be the influence for good in the lives of everybody we see. We may only make 20% of the difference to help somebody have a good day, but it's better by far than making 100% certain that they don't.

Prima Donna

In The Phantom of the Opera, Carlotta is the Prima Donna. After she is told by the Phantom that she is no longer necessary, and as she sees a younger, lovelier, more talented woman try to step up to fill her place, she comforts herself with the song "Prima Donna," in which she reminds herself that any part is better than leaving the theatre. She pretends it's a sense of obligation, that it's all for her fans, but I always had a sneaking suspicion that she, like most thespians, is inexplicably drawn to the planks.

"Prima Donna, your song shall never die. You took a snub, but there's a public who needs you."

They say there are no small parts. I cordially disagree, but I'm grateful for mine anyway. I wasn't at first, of course. With no lines and no character details, I thought of quitting instead of "wasting" my time at rehearsals where I wouldn't do anything. Then I got some sleep and gained some perspective: if giving me a part that I didn't read for (and that is technically for males) isn't a gift, and probably more than I deserve too, then I don't know what is. If I can't find a purpose in my small role then I'm not the actress I think I am. 

I'm forever grateful that I discovered the theatre. This play will be one excellent step on a journey that I hope never ends for me. I'm glad I auditioned, and I'm glad it turned out the way it did. Congratulations to the cast  of the Man Who Came to Dinner! This promises to be an amazing show!

All the Single Ladies

You have all heard of the friend-zone, the bro-zone, and my personal favorite, the pet-zone. But not everybody understands the different levels of horror these zones occupy, and what they each represent. As the numbers descend, so do your chances to ever find happiness with this man. Scrolling down the page is scrolling into Hell. So today, for your pleasure and enlightenment, I bring you:

The Zones - Fully Explained

1. No Zone: You have a range of opportunity to ingratiate yourself into his heart. He looks at you to admire, and there's nothing from him to hold you back. Congratulations, you're in a mythical land of bliss and newly-formed, un-shattered dreams.
2. The Friend-Zone: He does not regard your romantically at this point, but he does care for you in a platonic way, and he feels that there is room for you in his future. As a friend. But at least you might have a chance to change that later.
3. The Sister-Zone: He regards you tenderly, but in a younger sister, protective kind of way. And, like a real brother might, he finds the idea of a relationship with you, his mind-sister, slightly repugnant. Arguably better than friend-zone due to his tender feelings for you.
4. The Pet-Zone: I once heard a conversation that summed it up, "No, ____, I can't make out with you because it would be like making out with my dog." If you are in the pet-zone, you are regarded as a nice distracting thing. The person who pet-zones you realizes that, like a dog, you are enthusiastically in love with them and will always be there the moment they call. But they only want you when you can be useful to them. Be the dog who runs away to a better home.
5. The Bro-Zone: It's also known as the pit of Hell, ninth circle. In the bro-zone, your gender is literally irrelevant. You entertain him. You're good for a laugh or a conversation, but he ACTUALLY DOESN'T NOTICE/CARE that you're a woman. How do you claw your way out of the bro-zone? You don't. You languish in miserable agony forever as the man you love constantly treats you like "one of the guys" or even as just an androgynous semi-human gender-less THING. Bless you. I am sorry you find yourself here, because nobody deserves this. If it's any comfort, eventually you'll die and you won't have feelings for him and you won't be in the bro-zone. Presumably, anyway.

I hope I've adequately explained the zones to you. Please feel free to comment with any questions/thoughts/corrections.

It's not just about Dickens

"What's to become of me?"

Y'all remember Eliza Doolittle, when she comes home after a fabulous ball where a freaking PRINCE danced with her...and she couldn't do anything but sob and throw things?
Well, you see her dream had been fulfilled, her goal reached - and the void of her future loomed before her, empty and confusing.

Switching gears:

When I was 9, I saw my first concert at Fremont High School. From that moment to this, the choir department is the only thing I've ever really wanted. I hungered and ached for Legacy with all of my soul. I came to Dickens every year - Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without it. When I made Legacy in my Junior year, it was bliss. I never expected I could be as close to anybody as I was to that group. They woke my heart up. The dream of Legacy was real, but it was even better than I expected, because it wasn't just music... it was love, too. Then at Legacy retreat this year, fears started to creep in, despite the fact that this new choir promised to mean just as much to me as the last one.

The thing is, choir is my life. I know that sounds dumb, but all my dreams as far back as I can remember have been about what I could one day do with my voice. All of my favorite memories are from choirs. My social life, my free time, my heart - they're all in the Fremont choir department. And what's left for somebody whose only source of confidence is in something that's going to end in six months? What's left for me when my lifelong dream is over. What's left for me? I'm sorry I scared you. I'm sorry I cried like I did. I'm sorry I couldn't control my emotions. But the thing is, I'm as scared for myself as you are for me. I have so much fear and pain inside of me.

Why do I love these people so much if I know I'm going to lose them in just a few months? Why let myself be happy if it can't last?

Well, of course, the answer is because these people are those with whom I have shared the best moments of my life. It can't last. But it's here now. Thank you for now. Thank you for yesterday. Thank you for tomorrow. I hope things between us last beyond graduation. If they don't, know that a part of me stays with each of you. I mean that.

No Fault, Just Experience

Today at school, a boy made a joke. This is, apparently, normal behavior for the species. What made this joke different, you might ask? Nothing. My reaction was different, for a number of reasons (the exploration of which is the point of this post,) but the joke was harmless and probably a lot less offensive than I took it to be. Nor, I'm sure, was it aimed with the specific purpose of hurting me. So why was I hurt?

Turns out it was my own insecurities.

Honestly, if I had not already been too hard on myself, and if I had not already had a poor self-image, would I have been offended by what this boy said?

If I did not feel so badly about myself that I thought I deserved to have these unkind things said, would I have believed them to be serious and aimed at me? 

I know I'm not the first girl to be insecure about the way she looks. And oddly enough, I don't even necessarily hate the way I look all the time. Earlier today, in fact, I was photographed for an article involving a scholarship program I entered. I dressed up, spent some extra time on my makeup and hair, and I felt beautiful. But just one poorly timed word, and it all came crashing down.

You must think he said something absolutely horrible. But he didn't. He made some joke about ugly people. A joke so general and inconsequential that I don't even remember it. But I DO remember what happened inside of me. I felt ugly, unloved, and unwanted. 

As I'm sure you inferred from the vastly subtle title, I don't blame him for what he said. This was an interesting opportunity for introspection: I learned from this that people are generally harmless. I learned that I am my own worst critic. And I learned that being offended isn't going to make me happy, and it's not going to make other people be more sensitive. 

Pat-Downs are a Plus

Today somebody brought a gun to my school with the intent to shoot one person in particular and then open fire on the school population.

The amazing thing is, nobody died.
The more amazing thing is, nobody was even hurt.
In fact, there were never any shots fired at all.
The worst thing that happened was the "lock-down," which is a safety precaution in which the school is closed off and students are forced to stay in their classroom until they are evacuated by the administration/law enforcement. On top of this, in order to check for guns/drugs/bombs in the school, the student body was not allowed to go to their lockers or take their backpacks home -  just their keys, phones, and wallets. We also had to submit to a "pat-down" search. This was hard, I understand. TRUST ME, I understand. 

I'm a diabetic, and I didn't eat for 12 hours because we spent lunch on lockdown.
I was texting a cute boy, and my phone is still in my backpack in my locker.
I had to pee when I was stuck in that room for 4 hours. 
I felt a little uncomfortable with an officers hands on my body.
BUT AGAIN, WE ARE ALL ALIVE AND WE ARE ALL SAFE. 

My point is, we were lucky. Not everybody is. The small inconveniences are worth the fact that we remain alive and safe and can still go to school without facing the after-effects of tragedy.

Thanks to our amazing faculty, staff, and sheriff's department who guided us through this crisis, and
thanks to Heavenly Father for watching out for us. 

Giving Thanks

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Enjoy food, family, friends, and reflection on the gifts you have in your life.

"If the only prayer you say in your life is 'Thank You,' it will be enough."

-Elie Wiesel

I have a good life for which I am sincerely thankful. It's not perfect, it's not easy, but it's good, and there is plenty of joy to be had in it. All the factors in my life go toward making it such a life, but naturally there are some things that I am more thankful for than others; of these favorite things, I would just like to focus on one.

There is nothing in the world that brings me more joy than people. Friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, classmates, fellow actors, and the people that I have not met but have inspired me to be better. I don't really care about what I do or don't have. I don't mind the thought of not ever being a great person of importance. But a life without people would be meaningless. Thank you to the people who stay in my life when they could choose to spend their time elsewhere. Thank you to God for my family and my neighbors. Thank you to everyone, for being who you are.

As We Stumble Away

Here are some things I left unsaid last night because I just couldn't handle all the emotion. I'm sorry it took so long for me to get this out. (If you're not here, I'm sorry, but don't feel left out! It's just that most of the leads were my close friends before the play started! Just skip to the bottom.)

Megan Maw

You're my first, and best, marriage. Thank you so much for being there for me, even though I kinda sucked for a couple of years there. You are so important to me. Bless you. Bless your ballroom feet. *kisses passionately*

Maddie Bradford

There are not words. You know that. Thank you. I am who I am because you have been with me for the past seven years. I will be grateful that I know you until the day I die.

Braxten Lucas

Seriously, so much of the journey I have taken, so much of how my character has formed, I owe to you. You have been an example to me, you have been a friend, you have been a rock. It was a fortunate day when I met you. 

Bracken Gossett

I'm sorry we butted heads for so long. I seriously adore you now.
*Jazz hands*
 I know they're shallow words, but I don't know what else to say. Thank you.

Ashley Sheets 

I think you are pretty much the best thing ever to happen to the Performing Arts Department. You are so talented. I used to be so jealous of you, but that left, and now I just admire and love you. You are so excellent a person. Aside from your talent, there's also such goodness, humor, and intelligence in you, I am always astounded that a person so young can be so fantastic. You are a great example to me. 

Bailey DeVries

We grew up together. I think you've grown a lot better than me, because there is so much goodness, talent, beauty, and just honest Christ-like attributes to you. The fact that I get to rub elbows with the likes of you is such a blessing and an honor. Thanks for being the great example that you are. Thanks for your friendship through the years. They have been good ones.

Kollin Wasserlein

Thank you. You are the best partner a girl could ask for. Above that, though, you're an amazing man. You are so conscientious, it makes me want to work to be a better person. I admire that so highly. And of course, if I ever feel down, you can bring my spirits right back up! That's so important. I hope you realize how your humor has the power to heal. 

Dallin Saunders

Whoa. What a journey it's been. In just two years I've gone from tension and resentment to absolutely loving you. Your spirit shines. You are so wonderful! I love you to death. I think you are a wonderful man, so respectful and such a gentleman. Thank you for always being there for me, whether I needed a shoulder to cry on, or a hug, or a gentle reminder to be a better version of myself, you've been there. Thank you.

Kooper Crittendon
I don't know if you'll see this- I hope you do. You have been so positive and supportive to everyone. You must have been stressed out of your mind, but you were there for everyone. I admire that so much. Thanks so much for your kindness and support!

Tyler Howard

You already know. I don't have to say it, nor could I if I tried. Thanks.

Ryan "Chuck"Johnson

It's been super fun getting to know you. The quiet moments have meant as much as the loud, fun ones. You're fantastic, sir. I hope you have a great experience in high school.

To the Cast in General

This has possibly been the most important experience of my life. I have learned humility, gratitude, trust, faith, and friendship through this rehearsal and performance process. You people are better by FAR than I am, and I have been so proud and grateful to share the stage with the likes of you. Every person has made this a special time for me, by what you said or did or even just a smile or a "Break a Leg." I hope I've left my mark at Fremont. More importantly, though, I hope I've left my mark with each of you. I hope I've given as much to this cast as this cast has given to me. Thank you for the memories and the love. You are in my heart forever.

They Will Keep.

I've spent my life judging my worth by my successes. The awards I've won, the praise I receive - these are the increments by which I have measured myself. When I met somebody new, my first priority would be to let them know about all my achievements so they would be able to measure my worth the same way I did. I thought that was okay, to do that to myself, and to try to force that way of thinking on other people. But lately I've come to think differently...

"But you comprehend me? Tis [simple] work, very humble. What will you do with all your fine accomplishments?"

" I will save them til they are wanted. They will keep." 

 I may not do anything significant with my gifts and talents. But if I can help people be happy, then I have done enough, and the fine accomplishments will keep until they are wanted. For now, the simple and humble work may be enough.

I accomplish things because I am great, not the other way around.

Like so many other people, I have not seen myself for what I truly am. I don't think I fully comprehend myself now, and it's possible that I never will. But I know that I matter. Whether I leave a mark on the world or not, I matter. Whether people remember my name or not, I matter. I am a child of God, and He loves me and measures me by a standard much fairer and more comprehensive than any I have devised for myself. 

I hope you realize that you matter. Regardless of any other factors, you matter. You are too used to your own brilliance to realize how you glitter to other eyes. There is greatness in every person. Perhaps the greatness manifests in fame and public import. But, more likely, your greatness will manifest as simple, humble work. And that's okay. Because the accomplishments will keep until they are wanted.

Eggs and Empathy

Imagine an eggshell with a little hole in it. All the yolk and whites have slowly drained out, and there's nothing left but air. Then you drop that eggshell into black tar. How long do you imagine the eggshell can stay empty? And if it does stay empty, will the weight of the tar just crush it?

Welcome to depression. 

Depression has left a small hole in your heart, and slowly everything that used to fill you up has slowly drained out until you feel absolutely empty. Then the black tar of the world starts to crush you, and you have to fight just to stay empty, let alone find yourself again. It feels like at any point the trials of this world can  crush you. 

"Just because a person with depression has a good day, doesn't mean they're better. It means it's still a gray sky, but today it's not raining." -Miley Cyrus         

Not to be dramatic, but that's really how it feels. So remember to be compassionate if you have a friend or loved one suffering with depression. You may not understand why they aren't motivated, or why they seem so lifeless or why they don't act interested in the things they used to love. But right now they're struggling just to keep themselves intact. Be compassionate, and just make sure you treat them well and let them know you love them. That's what they need most. 

                  

Thanks so much for reading. Have a great, compassionate day!

Courage

As cold weather settles in around me and I'm vaguely terrified of my future looming towards me, I think I could use a boost. Perhaps many of my peers do as well. So today I think I want to bring a reminder to take heart. 

Sometimes I hear quotes or articles on courage, and to my mind comes a scene of a battlefield, with knights in armor sitting atop horses and hefting lances. Sometimes I forget that courage  can be in the little things; even somebody like ME can be courageous!

Courage can be sending in an application to a school for a scholarship you will have to work hard to earn. Courage might be staying quiet when you have something hurtful to say, even if it was really funny. Courage can be asking for help even if you're scared to look weak. Courage can be backing out ahead of time if you know you won't be able to follow through.

"Most of us have more courage than we ever dreamed we possessed."

-Dale Carnegie 

I believe courage is sometimes jumbled up with stupid bravery.
They're different.

Bravery is in the eye of the beholder. Courage is in the heart of the courageous, and nobody else can count, measure, or judge it.
I think if you've managed to make it this far, you've got it in you to make it all the way.
Good luck! And have a great, courageous day. 

The Slut Rule

*Disclaimer:  I have never loved a person less because they dress immodestly. I do, however, worry that some people dress a certain way on Halloween because they don't know how else to get attention, and their dress tends to get them the wrong sort.

My friends, as Halloween approaches, I invite you to be cautious. It's fun to dress up. It's exciting to get creative. And it's always wonderful to feel sexy, attractive, desirable, or whatever else you may want to call it. However, there is a line, and people keep track of every time you cross it.
  Keep in mind that lowering your standards for one night lowers your standards in everybody else's mind all year long. 



You are all so beautiful, and you don't need to send those kinds of messages with your bodies! When you dress immodestly, you can give impressions that are contrary to the person you really are. I'll admit I'm not perfectly modest all the time. But I do try, and I think it's a worthwhile endeavor. How about this year, we give a sexy, modest Halloween a shot? 

Billy Shakespeare

First off, this is not news.
But I just found out about the controversy over the identity of the author of the works of "Shakespeare."
It's been ongoing since the 19th Century, but it keeps getting resurrected.

In the 1800's, scholars who were critical of William Shakespeare's work began to theorize that he was not actually the author of the plays and sonnets published under his name. 

The Evidence that he Didn't Write Them:

• William Shakespeare was a successful Real-Estate tycoon (maybe they used his name because he was the financial backer of the actual author)
• William Shakespeare had a good education, but nothing suggests that it was good enough to prepare him to reshape the English language and forever impact literature. He never went to University.
• William Shakespeare had never left England (he hardly ever even left London,) and many of his plays took place in Italy or France. 
• There was an English nobleman whose poetic style was very similar to that of the plays. His name was Edward de Vere, the 17th Earl of Oxford. He had a better education, and he had traveled through Europe. 

Why I DON'T CARE who wrote them: 

(I'm going to refer to the author just as Shakespeare, for sanity's sake.) 

• Almost 2,000 of the words we still use today were invented by Shakespeare.
• The dramatic structure of today's literature is based on Shakespeare's work.
• Modern theaters themselves are shaped after the architecture of Shakespeare's theater, The Globe.
• Shakespeare's works are the clearest surviving link between Old English (which does not even resemble what we speak and write today) and Middle English/moving into Modern English. Shakespeare's work helped bridge the gap.
• Disney's hidden innuendos (don't deny that they exist!) are patterned after Shakespeare's dirty jokes - many of which were clever enough that children or the pious viewers wouldn't catch them, but that anyone willing to hear a little dirty joke would catch them.
• The works of Shakespeare are timeless classics. Whoever wrote them, they wrote something that was good enough to last HUNDREDS OF YEARS.

I don't care who wrote the works of Shakespeare. Because, in the end, THEY GOT WRITTEN. And that's the most important thing.

Crashing

I went to the UMEA All-State Choir Festival in Salt Lake City this weekend. I roomed with three other girls from Fremont High School's chamber choir, "Legacy." In total, 18 of the choir's 24 came to this festival. We had an amazing three days- shopping, eating, playing, swimming, talking, joking, laughing, and sometimes even crying together. There really is no replacement for time if you want to get to know somebody. Most of all, we SANG TOGETHER. And ah, no big deal, but that singing thing went down in the Tabernacle on Temple Square. 

You cannot know the power of choral singing unless it has touched your life. When you are in a choir with somebody, you have to trust them COMPLETELY to do their part, and you have to be willing to work hard so that none of you let each other down. From such trust, one cannot help but grow closer; and from such trust, one cannot help but learn to love.

Now maybe you understand part of what the weekend was to me, and why it meant so much.
I came to a messy house in which everyone but me was asleep, and I found myself suddenly VERY lonely. Where were the beautiful souls I had spent my weekend with? Where were the inside jokes and random bursts of beautiful harmony? I stepped on a lego, went into my room, lay down in bed, and cried.
I awoke this morning to a phlegmy throat ( a natural consequence of hard singing for extended periods ) and a heavy heart. This was my last All-State, perhaps my last choir trip. Although it may seem a little cliche, I said goodbye to part of my heart when I left Salt Lake City and traveled home to little old Warren. 

 Choir has been my life, my joy, my solace. So that's why I crashed. The higher they stand, the harder they fall. And I was lucky enough to stand with giants last night.

Season's Greetings and a Promise to "Be There"

Fall is the...equivalent of a Sunday evening.

The latest tweets in my feed are about how excited all the white girls on Twitter are about Fall coming.
I, too, enjoy wearing sweaters and boots. I, too, enjoy pumpkin-spice flavored everything! I like the holidays, the smell of the old leaves still on the tree, the fun squashes and gourds that grow in Autumn, and I like the scent of cinnamon always on the air. But I'm also scared of Fall, because of what it means regarding my emotional state.

I must be blunt: Fall is the seasonal equivalent of a Sunday evening.
It's not the very worst moment of the week (or year) but it IS the harbinger of the very worst day (or season) and so it's still pretty rocky.

That's right, folks, today's post is all about SEASONAL DEPRESSION!

To begin, I'd like to define what I mean by depression. So everybody has ups and downs, right? This is the normal human condition. Some people call their low points "depressions." This term is perfectly fine, but it's not the definition I mean to use in this post. I'm talking about chemical imbalances in the brain that physically alter a person's ability to stabilize their emotions. 

During the Late Autumn, Winter, and Early Spring months, the human body gets less sunlight, which allows for fewer of the "happy hormones" to be created in the brain. All people experience this lack of light, and most people feel it, at least to some degree; but not everybody feels it equally. I speak especially of those who, like me, suffer from depression (see previous paragraph) and anxiety disorders. Seasonal Affective Disorder ( or S.A.D. as it is appropriately acronymned) increases the "sadness" felt by those with depression, as well as their risk for suicidal thoughts or actions. (1) For instance, because the Earth is tilted on its axis, there are parts of the world where the winter evenings are all but a few minutes of the day. During the winter months in these places, suicide rates are higher, and more people are admitted to mental hospitals than in warmer months. 

"Remember: It will pass. You WILL feel better if you just hold on. And I'm always here if you need somebody who's been through...hell...and come out the other side intact."

Last year, around this time of year, I hit "rock-bottom" with my depression and anxiety. I won't dwell on the details, but let me just say that hell is in the mind.I got through it, though. It was terrible through the winter, but IT GOT BETTER. My depression will never fully go away, but it is much more manageable the rest of the year. The point is, Seasonal Depression is very real, and it's very common. So be aware of how you're feeling! Your thoughts will tend to get darker as the nights get longer and the sunlight loses its warmth. But remember:  it will pass. You WILL feel better if you just hold on. And of course, I'm always here if you need somebody who's been through the hell of depression and come out the other side intact.

1. http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder/in-depth/CON-20021047
2. http://my.clevelandclinic.org/services/neurological_institute/center-for-behavorial-health/disease-conditions/hic-seasonal-depression

If you can read this...

I was challenged to do a "Three Days of Gratitude" thing on Facebook. I embarked on it, thinking I would just say something nice about my family and be done. But when I really thought about it, one thing stuck out in my mind, and I want to discuss it here:

I am grateful that I know how to read!!!

14% of the population in the United States of America CANNOT READ. Another 10% reads below a 5th grade level. Together, almost a quarter of the population of America is illiterate! 

I don't know what can be done about this, I'm no expert in education or anything. I just know that it's pretty sad that so many people can't do basic things like read the directions on a package of ramen, or read the subtitles when their speakers just won't cut it.
Because I can read, I am entertained, I am smarter, I am spiritual, I am instructed, I am happy. It's such a life defining trait, and I take it for granted all the time! I'm really grateful for teachers and parents who took a little bit of effort to get me started on something so important.
Thanks guys.
And thanks to YOU for reading this! :) Have an excellent day. 

The Girly Show

"If others say you glow too brightly, tell them to put on a pair of sunglasses! Don't let others dim your shine." ~Lady Gaga

Before I was a woman, I was a girl. And apparently, that was the worst thing I could be. Boys could be anything, but I was always told things like 
"Becca, you shouldn't try so hard at math and science. Those are things for boys."
"Becca, if you want boys to like you, don't wear ponytails."
"Becca, boys don't like girls who are too smart."

"Becca, college is for boys, it's your duty to be a stay-at-home mom."

"Becca, you're too tall. You'll never find a man tall enough for you."

(I do have plans to eventually be a mom, but I also want to go to college. Eventually, I decided I didn't like math or science, but it doesn't mean I'm not good at it or smart enough to do well. Sometimes I wear my hair in a ponytail, sometimes I curl, braid, straighten, or style it. I am 5'11" and I DO, in fact, date. Sometimes the guy is shorter than me. But hey, some people are worth wearing flats for!)

The point is, people need to stop telling girls what's "wrong" with them, and start telling them what's RIGHT about them. I am successful, smart, and most importantly...

I am happy as I am. The things people overlooked or disliked about me made no difference, because I thought well of myself! So look on the bright side- of yourself! It's there, and it's the best part of you. Live a life that makes you happy, and don't let the negativity of critics make you doubt yourself.

Finding The Peace of True Closure

I had a friendship that ended a few years ago, and I figured that the hollow, bittersweet finality I felt was “closure.” I realize now that although I was honest with myself about the close of that relationship, that didn’t mean I had closure, I had never really felt the peace of true closure. Today I saw that person happy and felt vaguely glad that they were happy in their own life, but no regret that they were no longer in mine. That’s finality. That’s true “closure.” 


...And there was literally NO way to force it to happen, it just happened with time, and only when I wasn’t paying attention or trying to force it.Closure isn't this magical thing that happens you figure out what happened and why. It's the simple, almost undetectable change in attitude that most people like to call forgiveness, moving on. It's simple. And it's beautiful.

Political Rabble-Rousing

Yeah, okay, Obama's pretty crappy.
Remember Bush, though? Remember a $16 TRILLION war based on lies?
Or do you remember Clinton, who lied under oath about having an affair with his secretary?
In the past, no party has a perfect record.
We don't need a Democratic President.
We don't need a Republican President.
We need a GOOD PERSON leading this country.
Also, you want an effective government that protects your rights? 

• Be an informed voter
• Participate in EVERY election; local, state, and federal.
• Don't elect somebody because of the party they stand for, elect somebody because of what they actually stand for. You'd be surprised at the difference.
• Don't just vote the way your parents did before you, vote for the candidate who best represents what YOU want. 
• Be educated. Know your government system, know what you're voting for, know the platforms of the candidates, know the issues the candidates will be facing and how they will try to deal with those issues.

Get involved. Make America what you want it to be, don't just sit on facebook reposting complaints.

Hey Little Girl........

If I could give ONE piece of advice to the sophomore girls coming into high school, it would be this: 
STOP IT.
I know you're busy forming your cliques, making mortal enemies, formulating juicy gossip about other girls and their sexuality, but STOP IT.

You are better than this, and you don't want to be defined and restricted by what you do now.

When you like a boy in theatre, but you said all thespians are gay, you will give ANYTHING to be able to take it back.
When you can't make friends with that one really cool and interesting girl who just moved in because you spread rumors about the girls she's already made friends with, you will regret the choices you made RIGHT NOW.
When you grow up a little bit and feel shame for the horrible things you did or said OR FAILED TO DO OR SAY, you will wish that you had not judged, or hurt, or lied, or gossiped. 

It's all about what you do now.

Okay, and really, you deserve for your years in high school to be really fun, so do what you love, not what you see people do in movies.