"What's to become of me?"Y'all remember Eliza Doolittle, when she comes home after a fabulous ball where a freaking PRINCE danced with her...and she couldn't do anything but sob and throw things?
Well, you see her dream had been fulfilled, her goal reached - and the void of her future loomed before her, empty and confusing.
Switching gears:
When I was 9, I saw my first concert at Fremont High School. From that moment to this, the choir department is the only thing I've ever really wanted. I hungered and ached for Legacy with all of my soul. I came to Dickens every year - Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without it. When I made Legacy in my Junior year, it was bliss. I never expected I could be as close to anybody as I was to that group. They woke my heart up. The dream of Legacy was real, but it was even better than I expected, because it wasn't just music... it was love, too. Then at Legacy retreat this year, fears started to creep in, despite the fact that this new choir promised to mean just as much to me as the last one.
The thing is, choir is my life. I know that sounds dumb, but all my dreams as far back as I can remember have been about what I could one day do with my voice. All of my favorite memories are from choirs. My social life, my free time, my heart - they're all in the Fremont choir department. And what's left for somebody whose only source of confidence is in something that's going to end in six months? What's left for me when my lifelong dream is over. What's left for me? I'm sorry I scared you. I'm sorry I cried like I did. I'm sorry I couldn't control my emotions. But the thing is, I'm as scared for myself as you are for me. I have so much fear and pain inside of me.
Why do I love these people so much if I know I'm going to lose them in just a few months? Why let myself be happy if it can't last?
Well, of course, the answer is because these people are those with whom I have shared the best moments of my life. It can't last. But it's here now. Thank you for now. Thank you for yesterday. Thank you for tomorrow. I hope things between us last beyond graduation. If they don't, know that a part of me stays with each of you. I mean that.
The thing is, choir is my life. I know that sounds dumb, but all my dreams as far back as I can remember have been about what I could one day do with my voice. All of my favorite memories are from choirs. My social life, my free time, my heart - they're all in the Fremont choir department. And what's left for somebody whose only source of confidence is in something that's going to end in six months? What's left for me when my lifelong dream is over. What's left for me? I'm sorry I scared you. I'm sorry I cried like I did. I'm sorry I couldn't control my emotions. But the thing is, I'm as scared for myself as you are for me. I have so much fear and pain inside of me.
Why do I love these people so much if I know I'm going to lose them in just a few months? Why let myself be happy if it can't last?
Well, of course, the answer is because these people are those with whom I have shared the best moments of my life. It can't last. But it's here now. Thank you for now. Thank you for yesterday. Thank you for tomorrow. I hope things between us last beyond graduation. If they don't, know that a part of me stays with each of you. I mean that.
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