On a two-hour drive from her home to mine, my sister-in-law and I were talking; about everything, really. Clashing personalities. Lessons learned from broken hearts. Vitamin supplements. Diapers. All sorts of things. And one important thing came up that I'd like to share with you.
Despite the obvious and notable exceptions you see in the news, the general truth is that families love each other. They wish for each other to succeed, to find love, to be happy. This constant love and support (with occasional aggravation, just to keep things lively,) can be a source of self-confidence. To know that you are loved, completely and constantly, builds a sense of self-worth.
Now think of your friends. If they, too, have your best interests at heart, and are constant sources of love, then so much greater is the flow of self-worth from those you love.
Here's where it gets dicey: romantic love. This person has CHOSEN YOU. Wowie! This is better than your family - their love is genetically inherited. This is better than your friends - they chose you too, but there's a limit to their affection, right? But this new S.O. of yours chose to love ALL OF YOUUUUU. They love you for your mind, for your looks, for your actions, for (insert qualities here.) Obviously, this is the greatest cache of self-love you've ever found!
Sarcastic tone aside, that's all true. A partner who loves you wholly and completely can greatly aid your journey to self-love. However, great danger lies in depending on their input in order to love yourself. Because, and I'm sorry to break it to you, but some relationships end. And if that's your only source of confidence, then your happiness ends with it.
We've all seen this happen. It's an easy trap to fall into. And the best we can do for ourselves is to learn to love ourselves independently, leaning on friends, family, and partners for support when we need a little extra.
Oh, and remember to be there for others. They are on a journey much like yours, and need your help finding a way to accept themselves.
